Tuesday, June 11, 2013

When a Woman is Left Alone

by June Tuthill Bassemir

When a Woman is Left Alone…
She must learn to……
….Cut the grass;
...Remove the grass clipping from underside the
mower (& which way to tilt it so the carburetor
doesn’t get saturated with oil; or how to clean the
filter if it does get s. w. oil);
....Remove the bees nest inside the attic fan…before
it causes the motor to “freeze”;
....Turn off the water under the sink in case of a leak;
….Clip the bushes when needed;
….Know the difference between a straight screw driver
and a Phillips; (who was that guy anyway?)
….Be aware when the car needs inspection/registration;
….Change a flat tire/or bat her eyes until rescued;
….Clean the gutters five times a year;
….Understand that if she plants ivy it will take over
everything ,,likewise bamboo;
….Locate the fuse box and memorize the number of the
Fire Department.
....Keep a day book to write down the activity of the day;
when she opened a money market account or cashed in
a CD.
....File the name of a good plumber, electrician and tax
....Visit a good shopping mall for bargains.

She should know that WD 40 is a woman’s best friend
along with a rubber mallet and screw driver to remove
stubborn screws –or learn to operate a small propane
tank to heat up the screw for easy removal.

If she can learn to do all these things and more, she can
then live alone. But on the other hand if she has a choice
she should be nice to her husband (no matter how long
he’s been there) break up his Shredded Wheat, section
his half of the grapefruit and/or serve other fruit 
every morning....
...with a kiss.

copyright June T. Bassemir, 2013
June Tuthill Bassemir is the widowed mother of four and grandmother of 10.  An artist and writer, she  volunteers as a docent in a 1765 farm house.   June loves old cars and antiques, and has also enjoyed furniture stripping and rug hooking.  "I used to say I was a stripper and hooker.but with so many trips around the sun, no one raises an eyebrow anymore. They only laugh."  June has given up furniture stripping, but is still an avid rug hooker.

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