By Robert J.
O’Connell
I suppose that it is natural
to think back about earlier times in order to bring order to the jumble that
makes up the fragmented memories of our family. The passage of time is like
looking through either end of a telescope. The here and now we see magnified
with all the bumps and bruises on our family history, but as time passes we see
less of that and begin to see through the other end where it is possible to see
much more of the big picture.
My father remains a shadowy
figure in my remembrances. I suppose that this arose from my Mother’s
persistent warning that he was always about to die. The particular fact was that my father had
Hemophilia. He was a bleeder. We were all taught to wait for the next big hemorrhage
that was sure to kill him. Many had already occurred and left him a cripple. In
fact, she told us that if we were not good he would have to beat us and this
would cause the next big one to happen.
As a consequence I and all five of my younger siblings were very cautious
around Dad. Although he started off his adult life being the prosperous
proprietor of several local barber shops, the depression put him out of
business. He often remarked that at that time you couldn’t give away a nickel
haircut. This always made me imagine a whole crowd of bearded and shaggy men in
the neighborhood. Because he was on crutches and a bleeder he was not able to
get regular work to support his growing family and as a consequence we lived on
welfare and largely, I guess, by his wits.
I have since come to realize
that many of the traits that I blamed him for at the time were common to all
those who survived the depression. He always dealt in the barter economy even
latter in life when he had enough cash to buy what was wanted. He would put together very complicated many
step deals that would allow him to swap something he had with a whole chain of
cronies to arrive at the item he wanted. These chains of swaps often took long
periods of time. When I was ten he promised to get me a much desired two wheel
bike. In the long run (~six years) , the bike was provided although it lacked
one pedal and a seat. They too came to me later over another year or so. As a
consequence of this type of event I came early to believe that he was a liar.
Now I realize that he just had unrealistic estimates of how long one of these
deals would take, he always meant to accomplish what he said he could..
During the war, when I was
four or five he did get a regular job with the Remington Rand Corp., in Syracuse making trigger guards for 45 automatics. The job
advertisement asked for experienced precision grinders. Instantly, my father
became one. As there were no able bodied men left in town he was hired with
little investigation. After he was shown to his machine and waited for the
supervisor to leave he asked the man next to him to show him how to do it. He
learned fast and worked there for the duration of the war. Sudden prosperity
however had a down side. It turned out that dad was fond of the creature as my
Aunt Kate explained, and was likely to spend most of his paycheck standing
drinks for his friends in one of the many local bars.
Payday was Saturday, and my
Mother routinely sent me to accompany him to get his check with the notion that
he couldn’t take me into a bar. I can still remember the nutty, beery smell of
the dark room. I got to watch the bubbles in the jukebox and sit on a tall
stool and drink orange soda out of a small glass and eat all the peanuts I
wanted. It was fun. But when we did get home and the deficit was noted my
Mother took me aside and asked where we had been. I gave an ambiguous answer
since I really didn’t know where we had been. Mom then asked what Dad had to
drink. I said “tea with foam on it”. That was what I thought it was as we had
never had beer in the house.
Mom solved this drinking
problem in a very straight forward way. The next time he came home a little
tipsy and with a lean wallet, she broke his nose by throwing an empty hammered
aluminum coffee pot at him. I can still remember my fascination watching him
lie on the bed with trickles of blood running down into his eye sockets from
the exposed cartilage of his broken nasal septum. He mumbled that he was going
to get even with her but as she out weighed him by at least fifty pounds it
never come up and he abstained from alcohol the rest of his life. Although
there was often whisky in the house, it was reserved for the occasional guest.
We were a very popular family
in the Housing Project because we owned a TV set. Dad was able to swap
something for a used one from one of his friends who worked for a local
electronics store. I still remember the giant Dumont
console with the small screen and a giant magnifying glass on the front. At 3pm every day the local kids would line up at our back
door to come in and watch the cartoon show. Mom made them all remove their
shoes and to sit quietly on the living room floor. After Howdy Doody was
finished at five they all went home. Dad recognized that TV was the coming thing
and instantly became a TV repairman. He put a sign in our kitchen window “TV
Repair” and gradually business started to pick up. Now Dad knew absolutely
nothing about how TV’s worked. But he did knew how to fix them.
I would go on service calls
with him, largely to carry his tube caddy. In those days of vacuum tubes most
service calls were caused by failed tubes. He would take the back of the set
off, use a cheater cable to power it up and I would watch the display as he
banged each tube with a screw driver. If the set flickered it indicated that
the tube in question might be bad. A quick trip to the tube checker in the
local drugstore would confirm the diagnosis and we would sell perhaps a new
12AX7 from the caddy and fix the set. As a result of a previous elbow
hemorrhage which damaged his right ulnar nerve Dad could not feel the
occasional shock that would occur when he banged the wrong thing with the screw
driver. Occasionally this in-house procedure would fail to find the problem.
Then the chassis was taken out and put on our kitchen table where it was
carefully examined for burn marks or other signs of catastrophic failure. If
this too failed, Dad called his friend John, who actually knew how they worked,
and the two of them would snip and solder until the thing worked again. I don’t
recall them ever failing, although the chassis would sometimes stay on the
kitchen table for days at a time. Long enough to disrupt our diet.
Now that my two children are
raised and leading their own lives I realize what an enormous task it was for
my mother and father to raise six kids and keep them fed and clothed. I don’t
know how they managed, but I suspect that it had something to do with light
bulbs. I once overheard my father’s two sisters, Aunt Kate and Margaret argue
about Dad. Aunt Margaret complained that whenever Dad visited her he stole the
light bulbs out of all her lamps. My Aunt Kate responded that Margaret could
afford to buy him a sack full and then skip the anguish. I still wonder what he
swapped those bulbs for.
copyright Robert J. O'Connell, 2007
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Robert J. O'Connel |
Robert J. O’Connell grew up in Syracuse, NY, known as the Salt City, where he graduated from LeMoyne College and gained his PhD from the Upstate Medical University Center at Syracuse. He was a career neurobiologist on the research faculty of Florida State University, Rockefeller University, Worcester Foundation for Experimental Biology and the (University of Massachusetts) UMass Medical School. Semi-retired, Bob and his second wife were engaged in real estate and other endeavors, including continued academic work for the medical school. Bob passed from this world just last week and will be sorely missed.